My Dream Schedule

• wake up at 5 am
• panic! at the disco

1. slice the watermelon so its juice talks in Greek

• get fitted for slingshot gown, buy tiara with a song

1. roundhouse the "Occupational Hazards Welcome Here" sign til ankles bleed, then laugh at Eric til you/he cries.
2. Red? Not Red, its got to be burn umber, mofo!

• so you think you've seen the end of him? Don't count your burning bridges in one basket, sweetheart!
  
• Walk straight into him, speak in tongues, go out for

1. PANCAKES? PANCAKES ANYONE?

• flitting over the trees, the fireflies drag tournequettes down Dirtstring Lanetown.
  

Lava lamps, 2 for $25? I'll take .3 of them!

Why Yes! Yes I Will!

So I started this story one time, it was all like.

12am - teeter totter on the moons axis

1pm - dip my hair in jelly and roam around cow pastures

2pm - ask Skinny if he wants to join me down at the local drinkin hole

3pm - punch Skinny

4:23 - Call Skinny and appologize

5:45 - Meet Donna for kettle korn at Jay & Jo-Bobs citytime theatre.

8:30 - Pick up ol' Sasquatch from the village forest

9:00 - Me and Sasquatch make a visit to Missy's Mellons boob jamboree

1:00am - Pass out on front lawn

The floors on which you are walking, the gently sloping walls around you, and even the ceilings are made of plastics

wake up

saute neckties in palm tree sauce

leave foul messages on the president of the earth's voicemail

shoot darts into massage tables

slip parchment paper into gaps between toes

pull out briskly

bleed.

waking up with innovation inside. talking backwards in my sleep makes me think of japanese eggplant sliced on rye bread. semi-aware of typical guest relations, steamer trunks full of lemon curd take the place of napkin safety. don't cry, its only time for nero to crack his back.

4 am - think about jessica simpson

noon - kill jessica simpson with her own big ass teeth

9 pm - dream about killing jessica simpson

midnight - rest peacefully knowing jessica simpson is d-e-a-d

80Pm Heat and tie leg around waist.

90PM Hope for it to rise. So I can eat it.

190PM Eat it

200PM Realize I shouldnt have but never really realize.

40100PM Digest my leg into a new better one. Bigger and brighter.

40129093M Test new leg on course against McEnroe.

519983PM Realize Mcenroe isn't a real tennis player but a bum who stumbled onto the court because he forged a fake ID saying his name was John.

519985PM Punch John.... Abe McEnron. In the face and groin. Repeatedly.

9:00 am - Stick bread into brick wall, toast lightly.

10-10:14 - Stifle cough and pull Sarah into the conversation with Running Billy.

12 noon - delivery truck arrives, count all the teeth in the UPS box 8 times.

3 pm - document cuts and bruises on legs, pulling bandages off quickly

8 pm - Replace all the lightbulbs in the house with tin foil, turn them on

11:47 pm - Collapse into hammock, singing songs in pretend spanish.

Noon: Wake up from the riverbed and have the village women dry my braids.

1PM: Have Sofia take me over to Darry's on the Fan Boat for Riverdale's Bear Jamboree

2:30PM: Paint with the stars and bask in the mushroom fields of Passamaquoddy

5:00: Eat flat bread and pass out

9-10ish Regroup with Darryl in the forest for Shaman meeting.

Notes:

Remember to call Dan about this quarters earnings report. Up Yahoo stocks if possible.

Even in dreamland you will still have a schedule. Post yours.